Ray | A Timely Invitation When I Had Lost All Control

In 2009, due to a bad business decision, my wife and I lost everything we had, including our home… This was at the lowest point of my life, but also the turning point that led me to Jesus.

When the financial crisis stripped me of all I had built for myself, I was forced to confront the Ray that was hiding behind all the worldly securities. Financial freedom was my only goal. I had enjoyed all the pleasures of life and never considered if there was more to life than that. After all the toiling and building I had done for myself, I was left realising that I had taken 2 steps forward but 3 steps backwards in life. I felt frustrated, empty, and never did achieve true satisfaction.

Ray and his wife, Daphne

A timely Invitation

Perhaps the financial crisis was the start of a blessing in disguise because it probed me to ask the big question “Is there more to life than this?”. Daphne, my wife, caught on to my curiosity and took the opportunity to encourage me to attend Alpha. Though I was unsure, there was no better time to explore for myself.

During the Alpha sessions, nobody forced me to do anything. I had complete freedom to speak and share at my pace and comfort level. As I followed the topics and films week after week, I felt a stirring in me but just did not know what it was. I was hearing, seeing & feeling stuff that made me want to find out more.

Yet, I remember resisting a strong emotion within me. I had come to the point where I knew that to experience the truth of Christianity, I had to lose control of my securities, and this time it would be on purpose! In hindsight, I was in a tug-of-war with the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, Alpha provided a safe space for me to gradually be comfortable with losing control. The sessions taught me to slow down and smell the flowers when walking through this vast forest of life. The friends I made through the course also journeyed alongside me. Though I was in a battle with the Holy Spirit, He also was guiding me through the process until I was willing to concede.

As the sessions went by, I developed a strong desire to read the Bible. There was an unexplainable powerful attraction towards it, as if every fibre of my being knew there was something calling out to me within the pages. Finally, I stumbled upon this verse…

“When you seek me with all your heart I will be found by you,” – Jeremiah 29:13-14

I was humbled. Now, I see that the chase for my personal desires are only outdone by God’s chase for me. My own goal in the tug-of-war was to pull away and have my way in life. But God was not tugging away from me… He was tugging me in- into His loving embrace. I was defeated, and yet I won more than I could ever imagine.

A Life Transformed

Now looking back, I am grateful that my wife was courageous enough to pray and invited me to Alpha. Just as my wife has done for me, I pray that many others will unceasingly pray for their loved ones and be sensitive to the right moment to help them discover Christ and know their purpose in life. I am also grateful that the Holy Spirit worked miracles in my time in Alpha. I was a hard-core idol worshipper and nothing was able to transform my life for 40 years. Somehow, God spoke the right words to me and was my main guidance throughout my Alpha course journey. Now, I live to only seek God- my true source of freedom.

Ray, Daphne and their two children
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